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Roy Daniel Saladin’s the name they gave me after I was conceived. My parents say it was their greatest achievement as a whole, I say lies, but I guess after having two girls and wanting a boy for so long I just may have been their greatest achievement. Just think, out of 500 million sperm cells I was number one, hell yeah motherfucker, but I digress.

I enjoy the company of those who are optimistic and imaginative; someone who can talk and hold my attention with not what they’re saying, but how they say it. It has to run out of your mouth like cream, white hot cream. I should know, I’ve got the white hot cream of a 19 year old man. I have jokes, but I won’t share unless you share, I’m not an entertainer. Please make me laugh, I dare you.

Things I hate: burps, farts, smells of the like, boogers, constant coughing, people who hit kids, people who don’t understand how word endings work (There’s no such thing as chocohol…. Alcohol, a beverage of sorts. Alcoholic, someone who’s controlled by Alcohol. Chocolate a candy of sorts. Chocoholic, doesn’t exist, if you’re going to use that word ending “ic” and you’re insinuating that you are addicted to chocolate, then you would call yourself, which is very stupid, a Chocolateic) you see, I taught you something you probably would have never known…. By the way there’s no such thing as a chocolateic.

Things I love: Females in my life, tigers, sex panthers, sheep and baby toys. Why you ask? It's very easy to turn a baby toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location. This is me.

Annnnd STAGE FREEZE!